Street Lights & Bus Stops

the new space

2008-10-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

"So, how's the new house?" asked Jacob.

Well, it's great. We live near a couple great parks, excellent coffee, and nice people.

I dig it here.

Homer to Las Vegas

2008-09-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well, we just landed in Vegas. What the hell? We went from the green to nothing...just brown and stupid hotels. And, if this db next to me keeps talking about hookers in the attempt to get a reaction out of me, I'm going to kick him in the shin and tell him to use the word sex workers, damnit.
Vegas is stupid.
The plane ride was good, except for someone putting a drill into my left ear, which permeated through my teeth and brain, or was it the pressure and my lack of sinus stability?
Damn that too.

Minnesota or ear explosions!

where I live...

2008-09-14T15:50:00.001-07:00

This is Mount Iliamna

A playground, as it were

This is one of my heroes

Carmen's Cabin

Ella & Billie

9 more days in Homer. Boo-Hoo.

Goodbye Spit Sisters

2008-09-13T14:18:00.001-07:00

It's the end of an era...a very yummy, espresso- filled, gay era.

September 3rd was the last day of Spit Sisters Cafe.

We had a good time.

We danced and drank our last espresso's made by Carmen and Danell.

I miss the Americano all ready.

I heart Spit Sisters 4 ever.

Hesketh Island Fun

2008-09-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

Well, here are more pics. The family went on vacation and it was magical. We hung out with a whale and sea otters. Oh, and that's me in the kayak. It was my first time. It was everything I thought it would be. And, at night we all had the joy of seeing the bioluminescence in the water, which is similar to fire flies, except it's little tiny organisms in the water lighting up like magic in the moonlight. So awesome.

Homer

2008-07-28T15:55:00.000-07:00

this is our view

I'm back

2008-06-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, So I'll blog again. I have some sweet Alaska pictures to put up.
The update:
Homer, Alaska is beautiful.
I gave up soda, except the natural ones.
I'll be in Minneapolis in September.
I kind of miss pop music, as we only get 2-3 radio stations up here.

Alaska

2007-12-30T21:16:00.000-08:00

Here is what I've been up to.

It is dark, but we're finally getting used to it. It's gorgeous and magical.

WWJD?

2007-11-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you're a witness to parents being BAD parents? Seriously.

For example, when you're at the market and the parent is yelling at the kid and telling them they will embarrass the kid in front of everyone if they can't hold the box right. Everyone around just looks down in hopes of the parent not yelling at them too. I mean, how can you tell someone how to parent? I just try to make eye contact with the kid and give them a empathetic confused shrug. That's all I have in this situation.

Brooklyn?

2007-11-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

So, I'm in Brooklyn. So strange. I came to meet a lovely lady for coffee and now I live here. How gay is that?

New York is ridiculous. Today in the park (pic above), I got caught on a skateboard amongst about 30 cyclist going darn near 25 mph. Yeah, in the middle of Brooklyn there is this HUGE park called Prospect Park. I was just cruising along when all of sudden, I look behind me and there are 30 some cyclist heading my direction and fast. If I would've maneuvered right or left it would have been collision city for everyone involved. no good! So, I stood my rolling ground. The cyclist just all went different directions around me. It was absolutely terrifying and hilarious all at once. One cyclist called me an asshole. How dare I be in a public park on a Saturday while he was training! The nerve. I'm pretty sure he was sporting a Postal Service spandex get up, and clip ins, of course. Maybe someone should tell him he's in fucking Brooklyn, New York! And, that it's not the Tour De Brooklyn. Wipe that face and attitude off your head, you rude asshole. You're not hardcore riding your bike in a public park in the middle of Brooklyn, and by the way, you're not Lance Armstrong, even if you wear that ridiculous yellow wrist band.

So, I gotta say, some days the city gets to me.

A couple observations...

People honk incessantly. They honk at nothing. Just to make noise, I guess.

I'm apparently invisible...feel free to walk right into me.

Cock-roaches are sick as fuck

When you're from here, everywhere else just doesn't really matter. Seriously. Weird arrogance about this place.

People are people.

People talk much louder.

There are markets about every 15 feet.

Oh, and no matter where you are if you're two girls holding hands people look at you funny. Still weird to me.

I do like all the different people. I also like that I feel like I can look people right in the face like what! I'll probably never see them again. Kiss it. Again, I'm out of my damn mind.

More to come, I'm sure.

Can you dig it, fool?

2007-08-31T18:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a crazyass cool dream that I was sitting at a cafeteria table and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, my friend Jill challenged me to spit some lyrics.
As anyone would in a dream, I jumped at the chance to show off my hidden MC talent.
Just at that moment I started spitting out the lyrics to Whoomp (there it is) by Tag Team. Yeah, we all remember that song. Junior High dances and shit.
The thing is, I knew ALL the lyrics and I was rhyming real, real fast and in a super cool voice. It was so awesome. So, today on my drive to work I tried to do it just as cool....failure. Just not as cool in real life, I guess. This is the verse that sticks out the best. Read it and visualize me getting down in a cafeteria.

Upside down and inside out

I'm about to show all you folks

What's it's all about

Now it's time to get on the mic

And make this (muthafuckin) party hype

I'm talking it back to the old school'

Cause I'm an old fool who's so cool

If you want to get down

I'm gonna show you the way

whoomp there it is

Let me hear you say

whoomp there it is

Call me MC Tait.

Suck it Montel

2007-08-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

I got a voicemail last night at work from the Montel Williams show. Yeah. They're doing a show on Transgender teens and their families next week and wanted us to refer them to Trans youth.
I replied with the obvious, "NO, we are a confidential group that supports youth and creates a SAFE space for them. "
Crazy Lady. She's crazy if she thinks I'd let any of my youth be on the Montel Williams show where Montel, I'm sure, would make them feel like a freak. Montel would be all " don't you feel like a freak because you're trans? Don't the kids make fun of you? Can't you just be the gender you were born into? Did that lady think I'd never seen the damn show.
Asshole talk show host can suck it...exploiting people making them think they care and shit.

The revolution will not be televised.
The only talk show host I'd trust is Amy Goodman. Word up.

craigslist

2007-08-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

So, I put my old stereo equipment on craigslist yesterday and I got a lot of calls. So, I went with the first guy that called. I talked with him on the phone and he called me "darling" a couple times. Now, I wasn't totally put off by this or anything, but, let's just say I noticed it. I planned to meet up with him in the church parking lot by my house. I figured that was neutral/safe ground in the middle of the day. So, he pulls up in a BMW and gets out of the car and says " hello Nicholas." I was into it...yeah, he didn't even know he was participating in promoting my gender bending. He was just being a dude and trying to hit on me. Oh, and I forgot to mention, he was wearing fatigues, as in part of the military. I tried so hard not to laugh at how great this moment in my life was, and instead, I said this..." hey, so you're part of...the...forces..?" What? Why the hell did I say it like that? Forces? it sounded like I was refering to star wars or some shit. He came back with "Yes, the Air Force." I replied with " Yes, I'm pretty familar with the Air Force." (we all remember my unfortunate indirect experience with the air force). So, we chatted about how the midwest is more friendly than Colorado, and he was on his way. Oh, but, he of course basically asked me out when he was leaving. If he only knew. I responded with "hmm, thanks." and walked right away. He was a really nice person though. I just wasn't in the mood to have the "I'm really Queer" conversation.

Oh, and read this...it's an email from someone interested in the stereo...

Hello, Thank you for the prompt response to my enquiry am very much satisfied with the condition and price of the item and i would like to make an outright purchase immediately so i will advice that you withdraw the advert from the web.Pls i will like to know how you intend to proceed on this, but i would prefer that i issue a certified check in u.s dollars to your location and upon the confirmation andclearance of payment my shipper will come for the pick-up at your location.I would really have love to come for the viewing of the item but since am not chanced my movers will, If you are okay with this please do get back to me with the following details so i can make out payment IMMEDIATELY.1: Your Full Name to be on the payment 2: Your Address and post code3: Your mobile and land number.i will expect your Mail.asap Regards.

umm, is that odd, or is it me? Seems pretty, umm, I don't know, formal. I especially like the part about the movers coming to get it. What? I'm sorry that's just too strange for me.

Kanye is my BF

2007-08-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I feel bad about my last blog being so dark...I am dark, but let's be serious, I'm also in your damn face.
With that said...I'll leave you with Kanye West newest release, Stronger...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=9347892
LISTEN!

Did he say he'd do anything for a blonde dyke? I'm a blonde dyke! I'd be down to be Kanye's BD anytime. Kanye, I also think, as you put it that " George Bush does not care about black people." We're meant to be.

transition, yet again

2007-08-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

So, I've been out of it lately...just in my head wasting time. I've been packing up my life, yet again. I'm cleansing...throwing out stuff that I don't need, or don't want to be reminded of, yet keeping and even making special files in my lil Linda filing cabinet for the things I'm not willing to give up. If only I could actually write about the emotions of memories that I've stored away in files. It doesn't help that I've fallen in love with Damian Rice's song 9 crimes. Check it out..

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=195399762

for the visual learners..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ni-5ZmKLns&mode=related&search=

it's the lady that makes it so beautiful. The other night I was listening to it and I almost threw up because it's so good. You know a song is a "keeper" when the emotions cause I nasty physical reaction. Rach, you'll probably ignore my suggestion to listen to this song, and in about 3 months you'll tell me you've found this awesome song and it'll be this one. ha!

On a funny note, last night i went with Maren to look at a house. Picture the movie Great Expectations. It was right out of that movie, minus ethan hawk being hot. There was a pool with plants everywhere...it was a long old indoor pool. When the lady showed us the pool she stated a bird came with it. She then put out her arm and this white bird with red eyes, yes red, came flying out of absolutely nowhere. The three of us stood there, somewhat awkwardly, and watched this bird flap about. So strange and so awesome! It made my night.

8 more days of work.

10 more days on Franklin st.

you and your poser face

2007-07-31T12:32:00.000-07:00

The word behooves makes me a little upset. I find that people only use that word to make it sound as though they're wicked smart. I'll be honest, I find myself using that word in such situations myself. When I want to sound competent at a meeting with higher ups in the county, I use behooves, but let's be honest, it's a silly word, and you can just say benefits. Also, I always feel like I need to really emphasize the hooves part and say it in some sort of british accent. can we say it's a poser word? Yes, let's say it!

Speaking of British accents...
I find that qeer youth tend to speak in these fake, yet humorous and delightful British accents. I'm not sure if it's a way to detach from popular culture, break social norms, or just to sound smart. Either way, its weird and I love it.

I'm not one to judge one's language/word usage though. I still say dude and sweet all the damn time. I'm kind of a "Chad" in that sense.

Camping to Conference Rooms

2007-07-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

So, I'm supposed to be on vacation all this week, yet I'm at work today and it's Friday no less. We're doing interviews for my supervisors position, and rock on Boulder County for including me on this process. Anyway, I went camping up in the mountains somewhere west of Denver for the first half of this week. It was awesome. The theme of camping was Alaska 2007! I'll be honest, there aren't many similarities between dry, hot Colorado and lush, beautiful Alaska, but whatever...I wasn't surrounded by concrete and too much pollution.

Highlights from camping are as follows:
my car didn't break down
wasn't eaten or attacked by a bear or mountain lion
re-learned how to play sequence (I heart it)
excellent company and conversations
s'mores
sleeping on the ground?
chill-laxing
the man that randomly showed up at our campsite was there to clean the fire pit, not act out scenes from Deliverance. He freaked me out for sure. the banjos were playing in the background.
Car camping in luxury--we even had a guest tent for visitors!
frank conversations about v on v...it's actually not too common.

...sometimes the further we go from all the obvious answers and solutions, the closer we come to what we were looking for all along...

Being back in the cubicle is a lame transition. I went from peeing on shrubs to sitting in a conference room asking applicants about their cultural competency. dangit.

Here I come!

2007-07-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

Umm, so I'm having some car issues, yet again. There's been this weird rattling under the car, well, since i got it. Now it's so loud people stare at me....on the highway! I brought it in to get checked out and I watched as the guys just lifted it on that lift thing and shook parts underneath...which is exactly what i did with my foot the night before. That goes to show that I'm on it as much as they are. They came to me with this response...

Mechanic Dude: Hey Lil' lady (I'm serious, he said that to me), the problem is the heat shields are rattling and there's nothing we can do really. It's not a big problem though.
Me: well, can't you tighten them so it doesn't rattle so loud. I mean, how can you expect me to be undercover if I can be heard from literally blocks away?
Mechanic Dude: (weird look) No, we'd have to replace the whole exhaust system and that would cost a lot.
me: Okay, well I guess I'll just commute 80 miles a day as a major noise pollutant!

To me it's a slap in that face that I really need to be taking the bus.

Also, I really thought one of the perks to working in a cubicle would be air conditioning. Not true for this county site. Everywhere I go feels like anyone or anything may spontaneously combust. No joke. Colorado is hot, dry, and darn near on fire. I hate it.

Daily Thoughts

2007-07-13T12:10:00.000-07:00

A couple things on my mind today...
1.) When driving,the right lane is for "chilling." I really see red when I'm cruising in the left lane and come up behind someone just chilling in the fast lane. come on! The right lane is for chilling and going the speed limit. I admit, I find myself chilling in the right lane sometimes, taking in the pollution, losing myself in the beauty of on ramps, and pop music, but when I'm in the left lane it's time for speed...I will not stand for the incompetence of slow drivers in that lane. This is my PSA on that bullshit.

2.) it's never best practice to refer to a group of people as "those people." Never.

3.) I spend too much time in my head. It's kinda dark in there.

4.) the sound of a water bottle drumming on the dash never sounded so good...not until I realized she creates much of the joy throughout this family.

Here are some quotes for the day....

"Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted."the ever so delightful, Sylvia Plath

"America this is quite serious. America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set. America is this correct? I'd better get right down to the job. It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts factories, I'm nearsighted and psychopathic anyway. America I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel. "Allen Ginsberg

“Democracy! Bah! When I hear that I reach for my feather Boa!” Allen Ginsberg

“Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we came to separation, that place where work begins.” Audre Lorde

Believe it or not I started to worry. I wondered if I had enough class, But it was saturday night I guess that makes it all right. And you said, baby, have you got enough gas? Prince
hee hee.

Delay

2007-07-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

Check out this commentary, will you...

http://www.blackcommentator.com/235/235_cover_justice_watch_destroy_african_american_city_quigley.html

let's talk about it.
Also, "When the levees" is an excellent documentary. Check it out.

caution to the wind?

2007-06-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess what I really needed wasn't antibiotics, but to quit my damn job! So, I did.
Don't get me wrong, I love parts of my job, but I've come to find out that I can't sit in an office for 8 hours a day...i just can't. So, with no guilt I've decided to listen to my guts and just quit. Who knows what I'll do next. I'm planning on grad. school next summer, so whatever. I'll do what I want till then.
Oh, so I'm feeling much better. I went and got poked with some needles and I'm good as new.
I heart my acupuncturist! but really, I love him and sometimes make him feel weird, I'm sure. I kinda gaze into his eyes and hug him all the time...oh, and I tell him to poke me, and he smiles awkwardly. Heehee.

I'll be out of there by Sept. I'm open to ideas of what I should do next. Travel?
Let me know your thoughts. I can't commit to any new professional jobs though. I'm done with the rat race till after grad. school.

Top five things N to the icki should do till summer 2008.... (you fill in here)
I'm not above the carnival.

The battle with western medicine

2007-06-22T11:48:00.000-07:00

This was a week from some sort of hell, or level of Dante's Inferno. I say this because I was put on 3 different prescriptions for a bad bacteria (H.Pylori) all of which made me very ill, to the point where there was no movement or fun to be had. Say no to drugs! Needless to say, i had an allergic reaction to all three and it's taken me over 3 days to get them out of my system. Oh, and they weren't even sure what they were trying to treat was the actual problem! Dangit.
I have a rash all over my body and I'm down to 117... it's paris hilton hot, which is so not cool.
I've been in the house for 4 days...I've gone mad and back a couple times, even the cats are sick of my bitching.
So, with that said, I'm moving on in search for a natural remedy.

With all the pain and misery I was enduring, I decided to call and whine to lil linda (my mom). She was absolutely sure that what i needed was a chicken sandwich from Wendy's or Burger King. I'm serious. A little background...My aunt and I are both pretty stubborn in the fact that we believe in organic and natural food, yet both of us have stomach problems. My mom is sure that we both need to go back to a little bit of bad/fast food. A part me (about 2%) takes her a bit seriously, as I was raised on shit food and happy meals. Maybe now my body is shocked by the past 5 years of no fast food and healthier diet, but at the same time, I've always had stomach issues. It was a very funny argument over the phone though. Lil Linda insisted that I should make a stop at some fast food chain and get some good ol' grease in my system. I didn't do anything of the sort, but I will agree with her on the fact that I need to gain some weight and eat more in general, maybe even some meat.

On a side note: I sent a letter of complaint to the imagery health center that called me a damn virgin, and refused to give me an exam. I got a reply about a week later. It was very pleasant and they may be asking me in to give their staff a training on appropriate language and terms. Word up! Always question authority.

Your mom is a gay bomb...

2007-06-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Just when you think this administration couldn't possibly top itself...

"CBS 5) BERKELEY: A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting."

http://cbs5.com/topstories/local_story_159222541.html

please, please, please watch the tv blurb. Sexually irresistible?

7 million dollars. Hmm, gay bomb or take care of our own people in our own country? FEMA?

So, so funny. I heard Homo's think about sex all the time. So much, in fact, that they can't accomplish anything ever. That's so gay. hee, hee.

I guess that's why us homo's organized one of the most effective activist movements around HIV/AIDS intervention & prevention in the 80's...hmm, a little organization called Act Up/Silence = Death. Puh -lease. But maybe if they did make the gay bomb there would be parades instead of bombs. hey girl.

I know I blog about gay stuff all the time, but seriously, is this shit for real? How can I hold back when our gov't thinks they can create a gay bomb to distract the enemy? Maybe we should use the gay bomb here to promote population control.

I'm a little afraid.

You're a gay bomb.

Rupert says Dance!

2007-06-07T11:37:00.001-07:00

Well, since I have nothing to write these days, I thought I'd post a youtube clip featuring Rupert and myself. He likes to dance with me. Who wouldn't though?

enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izHgmk6wFa0

Oh, and my favorite day of the whole year is coming up. It's next wed. It's the queer youth cabaret and I love it! All my youth get up on stage and perform in whatever fashion suits them. The community comes out to support them and it's so great. And, of course, I do whatever I can to make an ass of myself, in hopes of making the youth laugh.

late night crap face

2007-05-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

WTF is up with late night t.v? Anyone? Let's be serious here... Jay Leno sucks real bad. He's just not funny at all. Swing and a miss every time. Letterman has a strange force to be somewhat endearing, but he's always such an old dirty man. I'm sorry, but sexualizing Lindsey Lohan is just not okay, ever! And, who the hell is Craig Ferguson? He's not funny. But then, there's Conan O' Brien. I realize the skits on his show are horrible and, a lot of times, he plays out some really lame cultural stereotypes, but he's pretty damn funny when he's not doing that. It's funny that he's so tall. I hear he'll be taking Leno's place in 2008. Woo-hoo...things are looking up for '08.

I really hate winter.

( this is what happens when I blog late at night)

June is so gay

2007-05-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

Needless to say...wish I was here, minus the snow.
Um, I don't have much to say these days, so I'll just post pretty pictures. it's darn near June, which is the gayest month of all. I'm preparing myself for all the PrideFest activities. I wouldn't actually attend the big parade, unless I had to work at it. I have an issue with going to a parade sponsored by big corporations that don't even support the LGBTQ community unless there's an opportunity to sell their product. Boo-Hoo to selling out to sponsors. Coors can kiss my ass.

Get your teach on

2007-05-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Rach,

check out these links. I'm just saying...

http://seamonkey.ed.asu.edu/~mcisaac/emc598ge/Unpacking.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_appropriation

http://www.makezine.org/mohawksdreads.htm- I've been having the dreadlock conversation with friends for years.

I'm trying to find ways to present this info to the youth. It's a tough pill of privilege to swallow.

Look what I found

2007-05-16T14:47:00.000-07:00

So, I went to feed the horse the other day and look what I found in the hay. Too cute to handle, literally. So, I'm doing my best to avoid this particular hay stack...for a couple reasons...
1.) the dog might see me and eat them...totally gross
2.) the mama might smell me on them and, again, eat them...totally gross again
3.) the plague is active in Boulder County in small mammals....for the third time, gross!

They're totally squishable and I, frankly, feel a bit like Lenny from "Of Mice and Men."
I want to pet the rabbits, George.

Here's to Karma!

2007-05-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

WWJD? So, um, Jerry Falwell passed away today. Where he went, no one knows. I wonder if he regrets dedicating his life to hating queers? Where did he go...heaven? Hell? Reincarnated into an openly gay man? Maybe the next Bayard Rustin or Harvey Milk. Hope so. I dedicate this blog to those men.

Check out great films about these men.

"Brother Outsider" the life of bayard rustin

"The times of Harvey Milk"

I heart Jeff Tweedy

2007-05-14T13:57:00.000-07:00

They're back! Wilco's new album comes out this week.
Check it out http://wilcoworld.net/news/index.php

I still heart Wilco, even after all these years of tortured love songs and Jeff Tweedy's whining voice.

Oh, and while jacob was here this weekend, I lost my ipod. Not cool. So, I'm mourning the loss of all my music. At least it's all on my hard drive. One can imagine my grief. Now in the car, i only have 2 radio stations, because someone broke off my antenna to smoke crack out of, I'm assuming. The radio is fun here and there, but not all the time. Pop music will kill your soul if not balanced with something really good, like people playing music in room--not produced crap! Don't get me wrong, I love Kelly C. and JT as much as the next, but there has to be a balance. So, now I'm considering just getting a laptop and a new ipod...I never consider consuming new things, so this is a big deal. Any suggestions on what to get? I'm really thinking about a Mac, even though I've never really used one.

Tuesday Rants

2007-05-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

WHY can't I get a decent coffee beverage? I will say, I've found some really decent places in Denver, but not in Longmont where I work. I clearly support small businesses and all, but I don't understand why more people aren't up in arms about how gross most coffee beverages are these days. I'm a snob, I know.

Also, the radio...we all know it sucks, but you Minnesotans are spoiled with MPR's the Current 89.3. If you don't already love it, check it out online. http://minnesota.publicradio.org/radio/services/the_current/songs_played/. It is seriously the BEST radio station I've ever heard. Put it on during your work day, while you're making dinner, or even while you're chill-laxing with your buddies.

I almost got kicked by a horse yesterday, or at least the horse was letting me know that if he wanted to, he could kick the shit and life out of me. Scary. I was being bold and assertive telling this horse to back off of the older horses hay, and the horse started to aggressively gallop away from me and in the process kicked up his back legs and kicked in my direction...kinda like flippin' me off, but maybe more like pointing a gun at me...not cool. Anyway, I yelled my ususal "NOT COOL" and then briskly walked far away from that horse. Can't say I know much about horses, but I take that as a direct threat..." this hay is mine, betch... I will kick you, betch..."

Coffee & Free Speech

2007-05-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Um, is this the funniest ad. you've ever seen? What makes it even more humorous is it's being advertised in a small town newspaper. I love it. "Live girls." Ha! Big shout out to Carmen & Danelle for being pro cock between ones legs.

Also, check out this news article--it's good, I promise. It's about a man dear to my non religious, yet spiritual heart, Pastor Dan Lush. He's Jill's father and was a pastor up in Homer. On Palm Sunday he gave a sermon calling out the Bush Administration. It was bold, and it got him kicked out of his church, oh, i mean, he was asked to "move on." I look up to this man. Here's to Pastor Dan, and his wife Maggie! To me, they are my family.

http://www.homertribune.com/article.php?aid=1577

if you ask, I'll post the sermon.

This is what a good time looks like...

2007-05-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

Apparently, this is what a good time in Homer, Ak looks like. This is Jill's attempt at making me see how much I'm missing out on. Truth be told, I feel like I'm missing out. The thing missing from this picture is me.

Oh, how I miss Homer and the people there.

Top 5 things I miss about Homer...

1. people...the obvious. One of which I have dirty thoughts about, and I don't mean Jill. She's just alaskan, not queer.

2. the cabin in the picture and it's tenets. yes, this includes Billie and Ella even though they climb all over everything.

3. coffee and bread & chocolate. flavorgasm

4. The feeling of my tiny existence compared to Kachemak Bay

5. Playing horseshoes under the midnight sun. But seriously, what do you do with a drunken sailor?

Once again, today i went into a High School to meet up with a student and the administration gave me a hard time because they thought I was a student...it's now annoying.

And, I'm house-sitting at a ranch...so, that's 4 horses, 1 deaf dog, and a cat. I have to sign to the dog, but I find myself still yelling to her trying to get her attention. it's a good lesson in non verbal communication. As folks that only communicate with animals through funny voices, or dominate tones, this has been a challenge, but beautiful because more than anything I find myself communicating with the dog through touch and eye contact. It's pretty awesome.

As for horses, I'll give them space, hay, and conversation...in return I expect to not be kicked, or trampled. Horses are too smart...they freak me out. I respect them immensely. Also, there are baby rabbits everywhere...I have visions of Watership Down. Bunny Revoluntion!

Deadliest Catch

2007-05-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

What Can I say? I love Deadliest Catch!! It's the only show I'm addicted to. I haven't been addicted to a show since the L Word first came out. If you haven't seen it, I reccomend you check it out, and give it some time. It won't pull you in right away, but you'll be hooked. I don't know what it is about it...maybe it's because it's Alaska, or the fact that these men are out of their damn minds, or that they CHOOSE to go out into the dark, freezing, and very scary Bearing Sea to catch crab, or it's awesome that they say fuck the 9-5 I'm going out in a boat for a couple months to make enough money to live for the next 6. Word.
Either way, it's my new obsession. I seem to be able to bring it up in any conversation too.
Someone may comment on the weather, and I may come back with, "yeah, looks like a great day for setting some pots for crab...have you seen Deadliest catch..." Yeah, I'm that good.
The unfortunate part is the theme song, which is Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive." Now, I get down to Jon Bon as much as the next, but I don't think the Jersey team hits it with this particular theme for a series...a steel horse, wanted dead or alive...none of these fit for me. Jon Bon should stick to ballads too. I think the theme song should be "life during wartime" by the talking heads. You know "this ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around..." Or Heart Cooks Brain by Modest Mouse.

just another awkward moment...

2007-04-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't you like to be in a room with Allen Ginsberg and Bob Dylan right now? I know I would.

I'd say, "hey guys, let's talk fascism."

Speaking of fascism...

Well, I was at the doctor a couple weeks ago and I had to get some test done, specifically, an ultra sound. Now, my current doctor is pretty queer competent, so I'm feeling good overall, right...?

So, I go to the imagery center feeling pretty good about my experience thus far with this particular medical center. I'm assigned to get an ultrasound and some sort of internal exam, which I'm not into at all, because the doctor said it would be uncomfortable...which, in real terms means, hurts like hell.

While getting the awkward gooey ultrasound the ultrasound lady ask me if I'm sexually active...it went a little something like this...

USL(ultrasound lady): Are you sexually active?

Me: YES (spoken very confidently).

USL: okay...

ME: I'm in a same-sex relationship

USL: um,...ah....

ME: and, I don't really use sex toys...get my drift here...

USL: Oh, so you're a virgin.

Me: UM,....What? (now, imagine my most confused face...)

USL: We just don't do the internal exam on virgins

ME: Why because many internal reproductive issues come from unprotected intercourse with a biological male?

USL: No, because it's moving through a boundary that you haven't worked through yet.

ME: Um, are you suggesting that the wand you use to check out my internal stuff is going to take my virginity? Huh?

USL: We just don't do the procedure on virgins...

ME: Oh, well, I'm not a virgin and I don't want the procedure done, so you can put the KY away, thanks. Can I pee now. (they make you hold your pee for-like- ever).

So, as humorous as it was for me to be called a damn virgin...it's overall very uncool and culturally incompetent! If i were a person with more internalized homophobia than I already have, then that would've been a really horrible experience for me...being told my relationships weren't valid enough to even be characterized as sex. not to mention really misleading. If this medical person is telling me I'm a virgin, then I'm getting the message that I'm not actually having sex, no matter what my definition of that is, and therefore, not taking the proper precautions to protect myself against STI's (sexually transmitted infections).

This is how they get us to screw ourselves!

“The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house” Audre Lorde

HomoHop West

2007-04-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

So, I'm helping organize this event called "HomoHop West." It's tomorrow night. When I signed on, I didn't expect to be this involved, but I'm so involved that I'll be picking performers up from the airport and crap. It's funny trying to organize a Hip Hop event in the queer community, as some folks are a bit resistant and almost fearful of hip hop. Silly queers. I'm sure I'll have an interesting blog after it's all over. It's also funny to work with the venue dudes around queer issues. As in, asking them about gender neutral bathrooms. Awkward for them, funny for us. Good news is, they seem to be trying to be cool about all these things, even though it's not on their radar at all.
Check out this guy...listen to song "Topsy Turvy." Be mindful, it's dirty, yo. So inappropriate, and that's why it's going to be so awesome. These folks have no idea what they're in for. They're reactions will be priceless!
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=7321433

2007-04-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

Rach, i might get addicted to blogging to you. Dangit.

Okay, so the current sunlight in Homer, Ak...

Sunrise: 630am

Sunset: 945pm

It makes me cry a little inside and out. I heart the midnight sun.

The Manifesto

2007-04-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Written back in November 2006...

Little background...today at group we had an author/writer come in to do a workshop. She presented on how to write a Manifesto....so, we did.

first, we had to pick 5 groups we identified with, so I chose...
1.) Queers
2.) Alaskans/people that live off the lower 48 grid of subdivisions and concrete, or wish they could
3.) Bleeding radical liberals
4.) Humanitarians--i realize this is a narcissistic sounding word, but ideally, we should all identify with this, seriously.
5.) and, FREAKS
From this list, I came up with the group name...yet not limited to..."the radical queers from the inside"...now, queers is used as an umbrella term--including homos, heteros, trans, feminist, and people all about anti-oppression and community. And, "inside" refers to those Alaskan minded folks, because some people in Alaska refer to the lower 48 as the "outside", so you get the deal.
Hello everybody,
We, the radical queers from the inside, ache for a community that doesn't discriminate. We demand that the bible be taken out of our gov't and education... In fact, we demand reform of gov't (this includes the Judicial system y'all) and education. Rid of it all & start over...let the poor, disadvantaged, and those beat down by this joke of a democracy be the voices of this revolution. We'll shout "Abstinence helps NO ONE...and it's no fun." Lube & Latex is free for all, and we now teach about healthy relationships for all and prevention in our health classes. We, the radical queers from the inside, encompass empathy, compassion, self- worth, common sense, unity, and the drive to implement positive community change. Down with the media! Goodbye Bush Posse, Dobson, Murdoch, Golden Arches, and Walmart! We accept that western medicine is not the only way and cover other forms in health care coverage. We'll uncover the truth about AIDS and help to fix this global problem. We, the radical queers from the inside, support local businesses, schools, teachers, social services, the Arts, Sesame Street, freaks, and organic food that's affordable...oh, and while we're at it we DEMAND better coffee that's fair trade. We're gonna tear down the cubicle walls and make a fucking circle and do this shit as a team. We desire the extinction of tabloids and crappy pop music, better yet, Musaq...what the fuck is that shit they play in department stores and waiting rooms? We ban it forever. We also desire the end of over -paid athletes. So what if you can throw that pig skin to that dude running? We don't blame you, but the system that makes that your only choice to having a decent life...down with it. We, the radical queers from the inside, stand up for open communication, laughter, self -expression, tolerance, and, of course, gender-bending! We're telling big pharmy to fuck off...we don't need your happy pills, as we started over and put the control in the hands of identified Womyn of all colors, ethnicity's, and abilities. It's lovely, they're actually listening to one another and we're no longer hated by the rest of the world. The men are catching on slowly, but surely, as their sex lives have gotten that much better with the liberation of their sisters, so to speak. We do not stand for fluorescent lighting. We also acknowledge the truth about our U.S. History and teach our children the truth, so they can pull their heads out their asses and realize chasing carrots is for rabbits. We, the radical queers from the inside, demand fair wage, health care for all, and clothing made in the U.S. and if not, the people that made it must be paid ever so handsomely. Here's to turning off the t.v., having real conversations, being in our thoughts, pushing our limits, and the appreciation of each moment. We love the universe and don't support all this warm weather...it's hot, we're scared. Here' s to wilderness, glaciers, bicycles, open-space, dirt roads that seem to lead to nowhere, recycling, gardens, wind- power and solar energy. We, the radical queers from the inside, invite you to join our cause and liberate yourself from the anchor of despair that is the American Mind-Fuck! We're here to put an end to all isms, poverty, the death penalty, domestic violence, intolerance, reparative therapy, the DSM IV (or whatever number we're at now), sysco, global warming, and Dr. Phil...and Paul Schaffer of Letterman...seriously, it's time. We'll leave the light on for ya...and we'll be dancing. Oh, and yes, there will snacks.

Happy Birthday, Best Friend!

2007-04-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

So, here it is...a blog just for you on your day of birth. I'm doing this for you in hopes that it brings entertainment and some well deserved laughs at my expense.

A couple questions to ponder on your bday...

1. Who the hell were you in previous lives? My guesses are a Queen, maybe an underwater sea diver that lost their life to a shark attack, thus explaining your fear of sharks. Also, maybe a struggling beatnik poet, seeing as you seem to relate somehow to living on the fringe, even though you're very far from it and you're a great writer with awesome delivery.

2. What the hell is up with 2007?

3. How old are you really...? I think you lie about your age...you're really like 150, but you know all about that well from Tuck Everlasting, huh?

4. Who are the people that bring out the best in you?

5. And, how did you get to be so fly, even with all your "outfits"?

You're one of the beautiful people in my life...a pillar even. I love you dearly. Have a great day and don't act your age (of 150). Throw your damn hands up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYnn51C3X_w Check it out, it's damn funny.